'It's toddler behavior': Woman sobs and heaves after remembering a 2 mm cut on her finger, resists any help her husband offers

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
May 10, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

Some people can withstand extremely harsh conditions but falter at the strangest setbacks. A man recently went viral for sharing a story about his wife, who is one of these people. She can do challenging workouts alongside him but freaks out when faced with a little cut on her finger. And I don't mean that she's squeamish: she literally sobbed and heaved at the mere sight of a cut she got several hours before and nearly passed out when her husband put some Neosporin on it. 

When presented with this story, the people of Reddit had two working theories. She either had a complex pain disorder that has somehow gone undiagnosed over her 32 years of life, or she's a melodramatic drama queen who is doing this all for attention. I think it could be either, but it's interesting to note that she hasn't previously sought out a cure for this seemingly insurmountable problem. 

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole u/throwawahole24 • 1d AITA for telling my wife that she needs to seriously work on her mental and physical toughness
    via u/throwawahole24
  • 02
    My wife (32F) and I (34M) went to the gym yesterday morning and at some point my wife (will call her Laura) scratched her finger on something.
    via u/throwawahole24
  • 03
    Laura has a history of being selectively sensitive to pain and discomfort. She is a strong and capable woman that I love, but if it's 80 degrees with a breeze, Laura will talk herself into it being too cold to stay outside. The joke between us is she is like the princess and the pea story. These things happen often.
    via u/throwawahole24
  • 04
    I am not exaggerating in the slightest when I say this time the "cut" was less than half a centimeter wide and 2mm across, just surface level, no larger than a paper cut. Later that night she remembered the cut and had what I would describe as a meltdown. She said her finger pain was throbbing, she was feeling nauseous from the pain and said it was becoming too much.
    via u/throwawahole24
  • 05
    I offered to clean it with hydrogen peroxide, but she said it would hurt too much. I said it bubbles but doesn't burn like alcohol and you need to clean it if you cut it on gym equipment because it's dirty. As soon as I put a few drops of hydrogen peroxide on it she collapsed to her knees and said she could not continue. I admit I got a little upset at the theatrics. But it was nothing new at this point.
    via u/throwawahole24
  • 06
    Then after I rinsed the wound in the sink (she is still on her knees crying), I told her I was going to get neosporin and a bandaid to which she begged me not to add neosporin because it would hurt. I explained to Laura that neosporin actually would cause no pain and even add potential relief. She yelled when I put it on and nearly fainted.
    via u/throwawahole24
  • 07
    At this point I was a little upset and potentially the . I tried to explain to Laura that her body was very resilient and she is a tough person because I've seen it in our workouts and the way she can work through brutal work challenges and environments. However, she needs to work on her psychological hang up on discomfort like this.
    via u/throwawahole24
  • 08
    We want to have kids in next 2 years and in all honesty I don't think she can handle childbirth right now. I said it's something we can work on together, but to start, she needs to get serious and adopt the mentality that her body can handle a lot! I told her it's upsetting that she seems to just give up and surrender to any pain like she has no will to shake it off. "What example would we be setting for our child?" "What would happen if you were injured and needed to get help without me?"
    via u/throwawahole24
  • 09
    We ended up getting into an argument about this, I , but I don't know how I could feel like an have approached this differently.
    via u/throwawahole24
  • 10
    EDIT/CONTEXT: First, I would like to thank everyone for sharing their thoughts and suggestions. Second, I would like to clarify that I am one of those lucky few that married someone they consider their soul mate. Despite my comments coming across as callous and patronizing, I love and care for my wife tremendously and I don't believe she sees it that way. However, I'm here for that outside perspective. I'll be with my wife until I'm dead or she finds someone better! (Even if that means carrying
    via u/throwawahole24
  • 11
    Lastly, while we have visited doctors in the past, WE may not have placed enough value on getting another opinion. That is something I will bring up with my wife again. I do not typically hold an opinion when it comes to my wife's medical care. I believe I may have an old fashioned approach to doctors as I have had some bad experiences with misdiagnosis and over prescribed treatments. My attitude when it comes to my wife has always been to get the care that she thinks she needs as I cannot make
    via u/throwawahole24
  • 12
    SitamaMama • 22h As as woman who's been repeatedly and extensively dismissed for lifelong problems in the past, I appreciate everyone pointing to possible neurological type disorders that affect pain. But you guys are missing the key point here. She didn't cut herself and immediately experience terrible, overwhelming, excessive agony. No, she cut herself in the morning, and then at night she REMEMBERED the cut, and proceeded to have a 'meltdown'. I'm not a doctor, but personally, I don't know of
    via u/SitamaMama
  • 13
    I don't think going to another physician is the - answer here, man. NTA, and since you really love her and seem willing to tolerate this, I hope the best for you but this made me feel impatient just reading it. The neosporin bit particularly got me, Imao - it's my go to for any injury not just because of the antibiotic properties, but it's a topical pain RELIEVER for crying out loud Reply 8.8k
    via u/SitamaMama
  • 14
    THE_CENTURION • 19h Yeah I agree the delay is really... Something. It definitely feels like "oh, right, the cut. That's a way I can get some attention." Especially a finger cut. You spend all day touching stuff and doing things with your hands... But suddenly water and ointment are a problem? Did she not wash her hands at any point during the day? 1.9k
    via u/THE_CENTURION
  • 15
    Lopsided_Squash_9142. 18h It's toddler behavior, tbh. It's what toddlers do when they notice they've got a booboo. ... 751
    via u/Lopsided_Squash_9142
  • 16
    nn_tlka • 17h Yeah I thought so too, and as a mum to a toddler, it's extremely important how the parents react to it. The child mirrors. My guess (from observing my mum's vs my reactions, mine vs my toddler's, other parents' vs their toddlers' etc) is that perhaps her parent overreacted to her injuries so she never learned to differentiate the levels of pain and to regulate her emotions around it. And if one isn't taught that, it's very ineffective to just tell them "you're too old for this". I
    via u/nn_tlka
  • 17
    loverlyone ⚫ 1d Professor Emeritass [86] There are neurological conditions that would explain your wife's seemingly extreme reaction to sensations the rest of us would consider non- painful. If you haven't explored those with a specialist maybe it's time. I think asking her to "shake it off" of you haven't discussed it with a doctor would make YTA. Your wife is experiencing extreme distress. Take her seriously. Reply 5.7k
    via u/loverlyone
  • 18
    Spirited_Draft • 22h She is 34, not a child why are you not asking why she hasn't realized her reaction is extreme and hasn't been seeking medical help? You can't help an adult who doesn't want to change 5.3k
    via u/Spirited_Draft
  • 19
    Available-Love7940 • 22h Aficionado [10] Because it's her normal. It's like the grown man who mentioned, casually, that he loves apples but gets tired of the tingly feeling in his lips. Turns out it was an allergic reaction. But for him, it was just...how things are. 3.7k
    via u/Available-Love7940
  • 20
    rachelboese • 21h I agree, generally speaking, but not being able to put neosporin on should be warning sign to go the doctor, though. that's a medicine that doesn't ever cause burning and it's commonly known that you can use it on cuts for children, etc, without that happening. if she uses a medication that is normally without side effects and it freaking BURNS HER, then both her and the husband (OP) should recognize that and go to the doctor. it's not all on OP to tell her that. they both play
    via u/rachelboese
  • 21
    writinwater ⚫ 1d Partassipant [4] I'm not going to call you the because I absolutely could not live with that amount of drama on a regular basis, but you should probably consider either getting her to see a doctor for her pain tolerance issues or getting her to see a therapist. In the meantime, let her deal with her own injuries. If she complains about how much pain she's in, offer to either give her Tylenol or take her to the ER, but otherwise leave her alone to melt down. If she stops getting
    via u/writinwater
  • 22
    thewetnoodle • 22h NTA always funny how reddit wants to jump to the conclusion that the "victim" has some rare neurological disorder rather than the more likely scenario that she is just whiny. If you fully believe your wife is a healthy adult, yes, that seems like annoying behavior. My thoughts are the same as yours. I wouldn't want to put this person through pregnancy and child birth. What if they are alone with the child in a situation. I want my mothers child to have the strength to carry on
    via u/thewetnoodle
  • 23
    na g dogfan20 20h Because there's a lot of whiny people that don't like to admit they're whiny, so they defend other whiny people. ... 673
    via u/dogfan20
  • 24
    xlovelyloretta • 19h Not to mention if she's suffering this much, why doesn't she want it solved? If I was fainting hours later at paper cuts and I wasn't faking it, I would be going to doctors until they figured it out. And I say this as a person with chronic illness. I actually spent all of last year going to doctors until I got the correct diagnosis and then getting treatment. Fainting sounds like something that massively impacts daily life. Why would you not be fighting for a solution or at
    via u/xlovelyloretta
  • 25
    andromache97 • 1d Professor Emeritass [80] idk, this seems more like a relationships question than an AITA question. i'll say NTA, but it sounds like your wife has ALWAYS been like this, and it seems pretty annoying and bizarre. this is one of those where all i can do is shrug and suggest therapy lol. INFO: when she has a meltdown due to a minor physical discomfort, what happens if you just ignore her and don't give her any attention? Reply 1.1k
    via u/andromache97
  • 26
    throwawahole24 OP. 1d It definitely varies. Usually when I take this approach I would not describe it as ignoring her. I try to acknowledge her discomfort, ask her what she needs and then offer any suggestion I have on what we can do. After that, she might faint (I am always holding her at this point), she might just need to talk through it and sit, or we might just have to stop what we are doing and go home. I think it's important to note that I did not always think this was psychological and I
    via u/throwawahole24
  • 27
    energylegz 22h . Have her ask for a tilt table test. It might be an over reactive vagus nerve. I got made fun of my whole life for fainting and being dramatic over seemingly minor things while being fine in other situations-ie I was a good athlete, but would faint when I pinched a finger, stubbed a toe, or got a little overheated. It wasn't the pain from whatever ailment that was rough, it was the feeling I'd get from the nerve leading up to fainting that was god awful. I have a pacemaker now to
    via u/energylegz
  • 28
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    via Coleman Glover

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aita relationship pain sensitive emotional sobbing fingers wife finger Drama Queen painful husband fainting tough cut Reddit dramatic crying
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